El Bueno, El Malo, y El Feo...

I’ve officially passed the year-mark in country. I’m just under the half-way point of my service. Truth be told, I sure would like to have more to show for it… but it seems my pace is in line for how it normally goes, and that my second year will be far more productive than the first.
I am, I feel, pretty well adapted to my life here. I’m comfortable, to be sure, and I think that at this stage, for the most part my opinions/views/likes/dislikes are all well formed. So I figured the year-point would be a good time for me to share some of the things I love about El Salvador, some of the things I do not love, and some of the things that are just plain bizarre.
El Bueno…
The Fruit! Dios Mio. I don’t get wild fruit too often down here, but when I do…. oh how scrumptiously divine. The mangoes are almost ripe; they’ll be perfect in April (more incentive, Paloma). I’ve had mangoes before, but not like here. They’re incredibly messy to eat, but oh, so worth it.
Papayas are ripe now too- not as good as mangoes, but still pretty damn delicious. They fit perfectly in between cantaloupe and watermelon (all three together are wonderful). But to be eaten in small portions otherwise latrine visits will be frequent.
Another fruit called an anona is ripe around October. From the outside, it kind of looks like a spiky gray coconut. And on the inside, it has an almost powdery pinkish-purplish meat and seeds. They’re best when refrigerated and are incredibly sweet, they taste like sherbet… and are almost too intense to eat whole.
Open Doors I’ve explained to many Salvadorans how so many Americans have “No Solicitors” signs on their doors, which are always closed anyway. They just smile awkwardly.
Here the door is always open, literally. So anyone is welcome to visit. This makes house visits very enjoyable for me since I never need an invitation and am always warmly welcomed when I do come. They thank me for coming to visit, instead of me thanking them for having me.
But taken with caution, because on the other hand… you can be forced to play host at any moment. Especially when you have a TV, like we have. So although visits can be very pleasant, they can also be unwanted and draining too.
Saludos It’s considered rude to not at least say “hello” whenever you pass someone in the street. Greetings are an integral part of life here. Many times a friendly greeting is accompanied by an even friendlier conversation. I’ve had some of the best conversations by just casually bumping into people in the street. It really does give you a more personal feeling… intimate… homey.
I remember going to Hiper Paíz for the first time in San Sal, the Salvadoran version of Wal-Mart, and I felt immediately uncomfortable. Not only because of the gross surplus of crap, but more because of how impersonal it was. No one was making eye-contact let alone saluding. I found myself wanting to scream “Buenas tardes!” on the intercom.
I know the saludos will be a hard characteristic to leave. Especially when I come back to busy, rushed, self-important Americans, who cleverly whip out their cell phone in order to avoid talking with anyone around them. Isn’t it funny how in a way these things make us less connected?
Smallness The size of the county. It’s itsy-bitsy. But I find it a unique and enjoyable experience to live in a country so small. Again there’s a special sense of familiarity and belonging. There’s a comfort to my service to know that I’m never far from another volunteer. I casually bump into other volunteers all across the country. You can really cross all of El Sal in less than a day. Which makes visits to the capital for me, not very grueling at all.
The Climate Certainly not of the whole país, but definitely in my site, Los Cimientos. It really is one of the best things about Los Cims. I can’t express the relief I feel when I finally get here, especially after a day in the stinking hot sun below. Whenever I drudge up the mountain, in an over-packed pick-up truck, it’s hell until I finally crest over one of the peaks nearing my site. The degree change is immediately noticeable: a rush of coolness and utter release, it feels so good. I love it. I’ve visited other people’s sites in the hell holes below, and I don’t know how they deal. I might be “out there;” but when I do finally reach “there,” it’s well worth the wait.
Sunrise Vistas Living on the edge of a mountain sure does give you some spectacular views. And since we face the Southeast, I’ve seen my fair share of incredible sunrises. When I have to hike out early and it’s still dark to find a ride down the mountain, I at least get to enjoy the sun when it rises.
But, I do miss sunsets. The peaks mask that from my site; and I know watching the sun set over Pt. Loma will be well overdue when I come back to San Diego.
Un-dramatics I wish this were a word. Salvadorans are more stoic in the best sense (although, sometimes I wish they’d get more excited, they can be a hell of a tough crowd). But I find it amusingly ironic that these people here, who have bigger and more problems that the average American (like getting food on the table), sure don’t bitch and moan like we can. Indeed, you don’t see very many emotional breakdowns, hissy fits, bursting in to tears, or screaming heads off here. Which I think goes to show that many of our problems have a superficial fabric to them.
I remember watching The Little Mermaid with Mari and the girls. I found it hilarious that at the part when King Triton destroys Ariel’s statue of Prince Eric and she breaks down and cries, Mari reacted with: “What? Why is she so upset? I mean, it’s not like it’s the real guy, it’s just a statue for Christ’s sake.”
Point taken. I’m not saying that all of our emotions are unjustified… but I do think there’s a considerable amount of fluff involved, perpetuated through many mediums. Just remembering the disgusting shallowness and dramatics of The Real Housewives or The Hills or some other crappy reality show makes me cringe. I do miss some TV, but shows like that, certainly aren’t part of it.

There are more things I love about El Salvador, but I don’t want to bore you (if I haven’t already). Instead I’d like to shift gears… to the things that pretty much annoy the hell out of me here.
El Malo…
Chickens OH MY GOD… I HATE THEM! They are the stupidest, ugliest, noisiest, most intrusive animal to ever have walked the face of the earth!
Whoever started the rumor that roosters only crow in the morning needs to undergo some sort of ghastly medieval torture. They crow all the damn time: morning, day, and…. NIGHT! And even though I’ve become a bit more accustomed, and am slightly more tolerant, they still bug the hell out of me and wake me up all the time.
It starts kind of like 101 Dalmatians (I unabashedly realize this is my second Disney reference in this entry). You hear one start, faintly off in the distance (oh no!), and then one a little bit closer… and so on… until every damn rooster within a mile radius is crowing its feathers off.
Hens aren’t much better. Especially when they have chicks, which I used to think were cute and now officially hate. The hens can be really defensive- and I’ve been attacked a few times just for walking by their babies. Not to mention the chicks are extraordinarily stupid. They easily get separated and lost from their mother; the only remedy to which appears to be to cry incessantly until their mommy returns.
I maintain my vegetarianism pretty well here, but when I do get the chance to kill and eat a chicken, I damn well take it. This is personal.
Hombres Alright, I guess I can’t say all men… but indeed most, and of course machismo in general. Big surprise that men would be on the hate side of my list, eh? Not all, but many are pretty disgusting, sexist, useless, stupid wastes of human beings who have nothing better to do than sit around with their buddies and wait for girls to catcall (piropo). Too much? Let me tell you what I really think…
Being the only white, tall, blonde, blue-eyed woman in my entire community makes me the target of endless piropos. Some can be amusing, others even friendly, but most are unoriginal and just plain disgusting; and they don’t do much to lift my opinions of men in general… which are about at the same level as my feelings of pond scum.
And then there are the men that I have to deal with: the ones in positions of power who I need to work with. They’ll usually give me the time of day, but many do so in a creepily flirtatious, sexually harassing, and very patronizing manner. One of the really annoying things about sexual harassment is that most times it’s subtle and nuanced: it still makes you feel awful but it’s really hard to confront. You almost wish they would do something blatant and obvious so that you can tackle it right away, instead of awkwardly enduring.
Machismo is one of, if not the most, backward things in this country. And while I’ve met my fair share of men who are respectful, modest, and un-patronizing… I’ve met few who can truly qualify as egalitarian.
Staring Okay, I mentioned how I like the friendly eye-contact earlier. But there needs to be a limit, because in this country there seem to be no qualms about staring hypnotically for hours on end.
This is one of those things that after a year, I have much less patience for than more. It’s just so damn tiring. I yearn to walk around in a massive crowd and be completely unspecial.
The thing that drives me nuts is how obviously they do it, and yet how unaware they are of how obviously they do it, especially kids. Say I’m on a bus- which is one of the most common spaces to get stared at- I’ll sit one seat behind someone and they’ll turn around and stare at me with a vacant expression on their face, two feet away from me. So I’ll look back at them… hoping that they’ll take the hint… realize that I see them staring, and that they’ll look someplace else. But no… meeting my eyes doesn’t discourage their stare. They’re either unaware that they’re doing it, or they just don’t care. So… if the stare proceeds, eventually I’ll say “Hello.” …or “Yes?” …or “Can I help you?” But even this doesn’t work at times… a lot of times they just keep blankly staring, with nothing to budge them from their gaze.
This especially bothers me when people I know do it. A lot of times when people come to visit Mari, they’ll just stare at me. I’ve been watching TV several times with the regulars, and I’ll notice that one of them is staring at me the whole time. It’s creepy. Sometimes I get them back. I’ll poke fun and start staring at them and ask them how they like it. This tactic has been received both with humbled laughter and with genuine offense. Oh well… can’t win them all.
Pena and the Non-Individual Pena, or shame/embarrassment drives me even more nuts than machismo. It consequently causes the loss of the individual. And because so, it honestly has been one of the hardest things to deal with.
Lack of education has a lot to do with it. Before and during the war there was no school at all in Los Cims. So on average, the adult over, say, 28 has no education and is illiterate. So it makes sense that they avoid drawing attention to themselves.
But even within the classroom, pena is reinforced. Most teachers follow the blah lecture format, rarely calling on volunteers nor putting emphasis on individual participation. So most people would rather die than speak up in front of a crowd. In my charlas (public talks, usually health related) I’ve literally had to pull people out of their seats.
But pena causes a lot more than stage fright. I find it absolutely inhibiting. People are afraid to try anything new: to start something, to make changes, even when they’re for the better. Instead they’re desperately preoccupied with blending in… so they just do as everyone else does.
It makes people stuck. And I’ve noticed… the people who are making a real difference in the community are few and far between. They’re rare, and what makes them so special is that they’ve overcome their pena, and dare to be different. And then… well… there’s just everyone else.
Carbs, Oil and Sugar The food…. another one of the hardest challenges to my life here. The lack of variety in food and the effects food has had on me…. DIABLOS!
I had always been a lover of carbs, until I came to El Salvador: tortilla this tortilla that and RICE RICE RICE! Beans and the occasional egg or unpasteurized cheese are my only protein. Everything else is a carb, and a processed carb, not usually the good ones found in fruits and vegetables. And, under the argument that women metabolize carbs differently than men, I’ve noticed a general bloating of my female colleagues and a general wilting of the men. That was one of the first things I noticed in this country… the men are pretty skinny while most women have some pudge.
But I don’t understand why the oil and sugar aren’t affecting the guys. Spices are expensive… and oil and sugar are not, so they are the ingredients Salvos add to everything to give it some flavor. I was fooled by Mari’s claim that she used “poco aceite.” I believed this for a while, until I finally saw the amount she was claiming was a “little oil.” Pu chica, I’d hate to see what a “lot of oil” is.
So- although so many have assumed that I would have lost weight, what with all the hiking I do here and what not. The truth is quite the opposite. And while many Salvos think it looks good- they like a woman with some meat on her, it’s also true that I’m gaining weight eating food I don’t like. The actual poundage I’m not sure, I’ve been terrified to step on a scale. But it’s undeniable that my belly looks more characteristically Salvadoran.

And finally, the truly revolting aspects of life down here.
El Feo…
Poop You wouldn’t believe how many problems it causes in this country, especially where I live. People who don’t take care of their shit, literally, create a whole mess of trouble for everyone else. Those who don’t have latrines are of course the worst… going out in the woods and what not. But many who do have a latrine are not much better.
What still blows my mind is that composting latrines are too advanced for Los Cims. Composting latrines are a really wonderful invention. If used properly (which is not that hard to do) they can last forever and create perfectly good compost for crops. But most of the people who have them (not many in Los Cims) do not maintain them correctly and/or find it too much a burden to do so… So what do they opt to do instead? Shit in the woods of course.
So, I’ve come to find that pit latrines are a better option. They’re basically a big stink hole covered with a slab of concrete and a toilet seat on top. Pit latrines aren’t nearly as good. You certainly can’t use them forever… just until you fill the hole, and they can still cause a lot of groundwater contamination. But still, I guess they’re a step up from getting caught with your breaches down behind a tree.
Creepy Crawlers I’ve never been too skiddish about bugs, but boy do the drive me crazy here. From the zillions of flies that zoom out of the latrine when you open the seat (caused by inconsistent tapping of the latrine of course) to the countless insects that call my room home… there’s just no avoiding them.
When I try to sleep, they usually go for my ear. And I’ve woken up with something sizable (spider?) crawling across my cheek. It’s come to the point where if you feel a tickle that you think might be a bug… it probably is.
So there you have it. My opinions a year in the making.
The currents with me? I’m moving out. I wasn’t expecting this, but Carlos, Mari’s husband who lives in New York is coming back. So I’m making my way to move into a room that’s part of our town’s casa comunal, sort of our town hall and storage area. I’m sad to leave but relieved too. I love the girls, but I think it’s better to be on my own again. I’m getting pretty tired of a crowded living room with people watching crappy telenovelas. Also, I can’t wait to cook my own food and not add so much damn oil and sugar…