One of the biggest reasons for this prediction is my blooming friendship with Mari(bel). It’s such a strange relationship, because she takes care of me like a mother (cooking for me etc.), and yet, at only 7 years my senior talks to me much more casually like a friend, and is one of the people I confide in most.
I’m humbled by Mari’s unswerving compassion toward others; she retains it despite life’s brutal punches to her. She doesn’t know her father; he abandoned her when she was just a baby. Her mother had another man and had two more kids with him. I don’t know the extent of it, but Mari has mentioned that this man abused her. I don’t think sexually, but I think he may have beaten her. He also left her mother, and so a newly single woman was left to raise three girls on her own. What little school was available, Mari didn’t attend so that she could help her mother tend the house and help raise her two younger sisters. This instilled a maternal instinct that continues to reign strong. When the first man showed remote interest in her at 15, her mother encouraged, or rather forced her to go with him, sensing the security this man could offer. She didn’t love him, and when she wound up pregnant at 16 and was compelled to marry, she was miserable. She told me that for the first two weeks of her marriage she was horribly depressed and cried every day.
I’m not sure what exactly happened after that, but something changed. She accepted her situation, thought of the life growing inside of her, and learned to love her husband. I think that when Jesica was born, Mari thought of nothing except her daughter. She got pregnant again right away, when Jesica was only 9 months old, and in a place where breast-milk is treasured and recommended until the child is 2 years old, Mari had to stop breastfeeding Jesica all too soon. She learned from this mistake, and decided to stop after two kids to ensure their health (the average family has about 4 kids and some families have 15).
Five years ago her husband left for the states to make more money. Although they talk frequently, and he continues to express his love for her, I’m almost certain he has a mistress on the side. So here Mari stays, caring for her daughters and living in a place she will never leave.
She could be angry, I would understand if she hated the whole world. But she doesn’t. I’m amazed actually by how much she enjoys life. And I see such strength in that. She lives for her daughters. I can see how she does everything she can to ensure that her girls have a better life than she’s had. That affection is unbreakable and really remarkable. There is so much love in this house.
Besides her incredibly story, I like Mari for many other reasons. She is smart, albeit uneducated. She cannot read or write, but harbors an emotional intuition that life has taught her. She can sense how people feel very well. She understands me better than almost anyone else when I’m lost in translation, just by a look I make. Also… she is so nice, too nice really, to a point where people take advantage of her.
Case in point: Kati. None of the teachers at the school are from here. Instead they come in early every Monday, stay with a big family during the week, and leave Friday afternoon. I don’t envy them, they work long hours and spend most of their time away from home and their loved-ones. Two of the teachers bring their daughters. Ligia, the social studies teacher brings her four-year old Kati. I like Ligia, she’s spunky, she has a lot more confidence than many Salvadoran women which is refreshing. But man do I hate how she raises her kid. I think from guilt of working all day, Ligia spoils Kati to the brink. She buys her tons of toys, never gets mad, and gives in whenever she cries. Kati… in my opinion… is the spawn of the devil. She reminds me of really spoiled American kids. And because the family at the house where the teachers stay have had enough, Ligia sends Kati here for Mari and Sulma and Jesica to watch her. I feel like Ligia is taking advantage of Mari’s unusual kindness. Mari felt cornered and of course agreed, and feels nervous to say anything to Ligia.
God do I hate that child. She’s four years old and EVIL. She cries all the time, constantly complains and screams, and runs the household. Every time she cries Mari gives in… giving her anything she wants. She’s nervous that if she scolds her Kati will tell Ligia and drama will erupt. It’s really sickening actually, to see how this four year old controls everyone here. I, on the other hand, am not very nice to Kati. And while I have very little authority to her, I certainly don’t fall for her tears. I try to convince the others not to give in so much, but it’s a fruitless battle.
I wish Mari were more confident. Sometimes I think that she’s sort of given up on her own life and that’s why she puts all her efforts into her kids. She never goes to nocturna, the free adult classes that my friend Daysi teaches, as if she’s settled with the fact that she’s illiterate. She won’t stand up to this rotten child or her mother and thus plays servant to both of them.
Mari’s fortes are understated and underappreciated. She’s smart, she’s playful, and she’s incredibly sweet. I knew I was lucky right away to have a host-mom like her and know I will leave having a very close friend after.
This past weekend we celebrated Independence Day here. I was blown away by all of the effort put into it. The whole school had been practicing to set up this parade for weeks. Jesica participated as a cacipora and Sulma as a bora… kind of like a baton twirler and a cheerleader. It was spectacular. Actually… it was a little too much because I know kids were exhausted from all the work, and Mari and Sulma and Jesica practically passed out when it was all over. Mari and Jesica work as seamstresses on the side, and made about 12 dresses in the week before the fiesta.
I was asked by the school to participate as a candidate for Indepedencia. I didn’t really know what it implied but quickly agreed. When I figured out what it entailed…. yikes. I’ve hated beauty pageants all my life, and never thought I would participate in one. We had to sell votes, and essentially whoever sells the most wins. The irony was, that at first I didn’t really want to win, knowing that many of the other candidates would be little girls (in your face niñas)! But as I started selling the votes, the gente was getting really excited… telling me they hope I win… how fun if the gringa won. So the day of the celebration I was pumped and I wanted to kick all the other 6 year old butts.
Don Marvin is the principal of the school and one of my counterparts. I think he’s a good man, and a hard worker, and really wants to improve the school. But he also likes power and doesn’t like sharing it. So… after we had turned in all the votes and they were tallied… I was way in the lead. Then Don Marvin announced that we would be adding a final 7 minutes to gather more votes to finalize the competition. I thought this was weird and uncool, but I partook. Then, as they were announcing who the winners were… my name was called as second runner up.
The girl who won had been in second-to-last place before the unscheduled extra 7 minutes. During which, her uncle, Don Marvin bought about 30 bucks worth of votes and shot her into first place. LAME! I know I can let the competitive side get the best of me… but dude. What a cheat! He totally manipulated the system so that his kin would win. Yes the money goes to the school, yes I just wanted to participate, but I was so upset! And, if I do say so myself, so were many other community members. The girl who won isn’t even from here; Marvin brought her from his town, so they were pissed at that. And also they had their heart set for the white girl to win. At least, this is what people were telling me after the matter and that’s when I started to get mad.
Ba pues. I guess I’ll never know what the tiara feels like (tear). Mari and Sulma and I started fake crying afterwards. But, after it all, I really was moved by the disappointment others expressed. Their support for me in this little pageant was certainly the best part of the whole experience. And as for Marvin… what a punk… and a cheat.
This is Mari, ain´t she pretty?
The culprit.
The parade filled the soccer field at the end.
Melli, my cousin, Jesica and Sulma, my sisters, and a schoolmate who I forgot the name of. Jesica made all of these dresses except the one on the left.
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